Do You Cyber?

I'm starting to get the distinct impression that 'freaky' is the new normal, just like brown is the new black.

When I was younger it was quite easy to distinguish the weirdos - they wore one trouser leg too short, had twitches and lived with their mothers. Now though it's not so easy, These days people tend to leave it a while before whipping out their oddness and scaring you with it.

Meeting people in general seems a lot harder these days. The guys that I've been meeting lately, and by meeting I mean chatting to on the internet (because I 'm sad and the effort involved in getting dressed, going out and actually talking to people all seems like too much) just seem like a whole bundle of oddness. At first they will come across as pretty normal, they say things like "I'm just looking for someone to chat to" and "just easing the boredom" blah blah. Then as the days and chats go on, it always gets sexual, but never in the normal 'I've got to know you, I like you and think you like me' way. It's always in the way that your neighbour flashes you. You know, you're in your garden sun bathing, you look up and there he is stark naked waving it about in the window. And it happens so quickly that you are like "did I just see his dick?". As the years go on you start to wonder. Or is that just me?

Anyway.........

I'll give you an example: I've been chatting to someone (who will remain nameless) for about 2 months now, he was always very polite. We had the usual boring discussions about work, life, me ( I love that subject). And all seemed to be going well. He asked me for a date, to which I gave the usual non-committal diatribe, then he starts to ask for photos, I tell him the same thing I tell anyone who asks "go look at my profile". I can almost feel what's coming next, " I meant 'photos' wink wink".
In other words naked photos, but then he goes on to describe in great detail what exactly they should be... "why don't you take the camera in the shower with you.............. blah blah". At this point he's talking to himself and I'm wondering if maybe he is typing in to the wrong speech window. This has happened constantly for two years, I get chatting to guys, just as I start thinking "he seems pretty nice".... BAM! he flashes me.

Now I used to think it was my profile so I changed that, same thing happened. Then maybe it's the photo, changed that over and over, same thing. So I start to think about what I've said and that maybe I'm saying the wrong things. But in all honesty my conversations are tame and boring 90% of the time. The other 10% I'm possessed by the need to be weird and talk about the decline of the squirrel population (it really worries me).

I know that if I met these guys in a bar, it's not likely they would start off the conversation with "Hi, my name's Paul, can I see your tits?" So what gives them the idea that I'm going to go "wow really can I take photos of myself naked for you, thank you, you are so kind, maybe I could ask my gorgeous young female neighbour over and we can soap each other up for you" just because we are talking over the internet?

I'm sure there are many couples out there that have met over the internet and good on them, but in my experience it's not a good place to meet people, unless you have an affection for flashers.

M

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