Why rabbits suck ass.
The little bastards have cost me a fortune. I must add in my defense i did not buy the first two or agree to the buying of them. They were an inappropriate gift for my son, who is 3 and far too young to appreciate rabbits, if you ask me, but anyway I digress.
The first two were very cute and I remember thinking, they won't be too hard to look after. And they weren't, because they died. A few days after I got them I went to feed them and there they were stiff as boards, staring up at me from behind cloudy eyes. So as not to disappoint my son I bought two more. This time only one died, so feeling confident we named the survivor Pocus. Since Pocus' partner bit bunny dust there have been six more. At fifteen euros a go, that's starting to add up. I thought then that maybe Pocus was the problem that she was a carrier of some fatal bunny disease and that I should wait and see if she died too...
<*dv_0*> She did not however so after six weeks of waiting I decided to try again and get another victim.... I mean pet.
I chose very carefully, got a black one because they are hardier. I made sure it was a similar size so that bullying wouldn't be a problem. The pet shop assured me that the rabbit was nearly fully grown and so the best bet. I slowly introduced it to it's new environment and christened it Bailey. All was well, or so I thought.
This morning I checked in on the two of them and caught them humping. Apparently Pocus isn't female, she's male and in the mood for some bunny love. Like I haven't had enough to cope with, now this. I give in I really do, I think I'm about one bunny away from "Fatal Attraction Action". I should just boil the fuckers (no pun intended) and be done with them.
So that is why rabbits suck ass. Cute they may be but they wind you up no end and die at inconvenient moments. How selfish can you get? Right, where did I put my stewing pot?
|
