This I think is without doubt the most worthless, useless creature on this earth. What is it's purpose?
It's a blob of tough jelly that slimes round your garden looking like a bit of old shit, eating your prize petunias. It does nothing for the well-being of this planet except die, and doesn't even contribute to any food chain.
What the fuck is with all that slime? Instead of developing legs like the rest of us normal, sensible animals, it produces a foul tasting (not that I've tried it, but come on!) liquid that it slowly (very slowly) slips up and down on. If it's that lazy that it doesn't even want to wriggle, then why doesn't it get itself a roller skate.
<*dv_1*> I've looked at similar creatures like the worm and the snail which on the surface look pretty crap, but the worm sifts your soil, giving a beautiful fertile land, and the snail, which of course you can eat (well the French can eat because they're weird).
<*dv_0*> The slug is also pretty stupid, it will drink beer if you put some out for it, which on the surface doesn't sound too bad, but it doesn't know when to quit, and always without any question kills itself on the first session, are they all alcoholics?
<*dv_2*> It's allergic to salt!!!..........WHAT? That just isn't right, it can't even have a bag of crisps because it's scared it will shrivel up and die! <*dv_3*>What a homosexual! |
