| | Blunkett, US Pilots, War(!), Baddiel | <*dv_0*>Why doesn't David Blunkett wear dark glasses? I don't want to mock the afflicated - I did that yesterday by challenging a packed Sunshine coach to a game of rugby - but how are you supposed to concentrate on what he's saying when he's got those wonky peepers darting about all over the place? No wonder he's usually only interviewed on the radio. I can understand if he's LOST his glasses - he is blind after all - so that seems quite easy to do. But surely someone could either (a) find them for him (b) put them on a string around his power-bloated neck. (c) get him a new pair. They don't even have to be designer shades either - he's never going to know. Or you could even try (d) drawing a pair on him using a big felt tip pen while he's asleep. The simple fact is, a pair of dark glasses, and maybe even a bit of Stevie Wonder-type head waving from side to side would do wonders for his image.
<*dv_2*> Why the frig can't the Americans fly a helicopter without crashing it into the ground? What is that about? Maybe they should call in a specialist, like that Jan Michael Vincent from Airwolf. I know he's probably around 60 now, if he's still alive, but c'mon. How hard can it be? Mirror. Signal. Maneuvre off the ground and into the air. And don't forget to take the handbrake off. There. I imagine that landing is very similar except exactly the opposite way round. Well what do I know? I never even used to watch Airwolf.
<*dv_1*> What this war needs is a good sponsor. Or like the champions league, have lots of different sponsors. Think of it, you could have the camoflague and uniforms made by Adidas, footwear by Nike: "Air Jordan" "Air Palastine" and "Air Strike". Helicopters by, er, Chrysler and Music by Moby. Rations provided by Starbucks and KFC. Now THAT would make it a good war. It seems to be dragging on a bit too. When do we get to vote off our least favourite leader?
David Baddiel. What is the point? Why make a tv show built on the premise of spontaneous observational wit, when you spend your entire time going reheating bits of your piss-poor early 1990's stand-up routine? It's either that or wank gags. Actually no, they are ALL wank gags when you think about it. | | | |
