Sitting in an Accounts seminar, learning how the Americans do it, I find myself looking around at all the other attendees and slowly realising that there is a distinct pattern to accountants. Having worked in Finance within various industries for some years now, I've had to attend numerous seminars, courses and general get togethers which have lead to me meeting multitudes of accountants.
It was a sunny day and I was stuck in this seminar, how pants is that? Well actually I found the seminar to be very interesting - but I probably should keep that between my accounting friends and myself! But I am only human and by the second day of learning how Enron has effected the governance of the US Accounting Standards my mind was starting to squeal. As I sat there wondering how politically correct it would be to take my 10th biscuit, I started to group the accountants together into rather stereotypical little piles.
I believe that there are four general types of accountants which will also show how the role of an accountant has progressed through the years:
1.<*dv_1*> Ye ole duffer
<*dv_3*> Firstly, we have the 'old school' accountant. These appeared well before Mr Bill Gates blessed us with the wonderful creation of Excel, when accountancy was performed on large pieces of paper and all accountants were male!
<*dv_0*> These men look how you would expect accountants to look. In various shades of grey they sit with legs crossed revealing black socks pulled up the legs, appearing as though you can't tell them anything they don't already know. These men were the high flyers of the 70's whose whole life was centred around their career. Family's were neglected, lives were put to one side whilst these men pushed forward to achieve great things.. oh and to buy bread, apparently!
They reached the top of the ladder and instead of finding a comfy leather chair, little work to do, and a nice view they were actually faced with a mad scrap to maintain their job. Experience of change and the acceleration of technology has left these, once dynamic, accountants looking weary and drained.
2. Women
The 80's saw the onslaught of liberated women going into accountancy. Young women joined companies straight from school and were encouraged to qualify as accountants. Always under the impression that being accepted as an accountant would be difficult, these girls studied hard, qualified with flying colours and set about doing the job.
<*dv_4*> Despite appearing independent and career orientated, deep down these girls were just clever and they didn't possess the drive to push their professions along. The need to have families soon became apparent and 'job' would soon be juggled with 'baby'.
They now all have fine, dreary, straight bobbed hair cuts and look as though they haven't slept in months, as they try to hold onto their career and bring up a family at the same time. During the course they scribble notes furiously as though they feel they have to justify their ability by being able to remember every word the lecturer speaks.
3. College Boy
Ah.. the college boy. Yes, you know the type. These are not exclusive to accountants, and most companies will have experienced the college boy!
Straight from university appear these young, nave boys believing themselves to be trendy in their Ralph Lauren Polo shirts and Armani trousers, full of enthusiasm and motivation ready to take on the world. Continuously throughout the two days every point is turned into a moot discussion, for no apparent reason. What the college boys don't seem to pick up on is that they're the only ones who are debating an issue. Do they not ask themselves why? The reason is that everyone else gets it! We don't think that you're really intelligent for raising these questions, we just think that you're a complete knob who hasn't yet got to grips with the practical subject of accountancy and have no idea what utter crap you're spouting!!
After 20 minutes of debating with the lecturer, half the room is now staring out the window wondering what to have for tea, I'm wondering what part of lunch is now on my top and the rest are looking at these guys in pure wonderment. Eventually one of the old time guys, without moving a muscle, speaks above the others and in five words manages to put the college boys right and give them a good slap around the face, leaving them looking daft and red-faced.
We all know that soon the experience of life will leave these high-flying MG drivers in the same position as the old school boys.
4. And finally, the fourth type of accountant. This is where I fit in (of course), into the 'other' bracket. There are, undoubtedly, the odd few accountants that I've met over the years, who don't actually fit into the above categories. However, there are not many, and in this particular room there was just me! On first appearances no one struck me to be any different from what I would have expected. I was the only non-white person in the room, I was the only person to be wearing clothes that fitted me and I was the only person who knew any topics of conversation other than accounts.
<*dv_2*> Please note that all characters described above are completely fictional and bear no relation to anyone in particular (who may know me and was probably very nice to me on a course I may have been on recently!). |
