For year's now, I have hidden this aspect of my personality from friends and family, scared as to what they would say, but now I think it's time I came out and what better place than here among the insane and generally warped.
As a young child I spent an inexplicable amount of time climbing trees and making dens. A normal childhood, but unlike the rest of the girls I didn't grow out of it. I hid it as I grew older for fear of stoning. My Barbie took the brunt of this inner turmoil, usually having gangrenous limbs removed or being strapped to fireworks, in a vain attempt to orbit the Earth. When these plastic mishaps were discovered I would always blame my brother and no one apart from him ever doubted that it was true, and even he wasn't too sure ( I was an accomplished liar at an early age).
As I was forced (by my mother) to enter teenagedom, I could feel him, (for sake of ease lets call him Martin), screaming, in a manly way, to be let out. I Loved sports, helping my dad with his car, bikes (especially motorbikes), anything to do with speed/heights/climbing etc. But could not be accepted by the "other" boys because basically I looked too girly, my mother kept my hair at bum length till I was 14 when in a fit of rebellion I cut it off. When a few years later I was asked by a close family friend "do you think you could be a Linda?" Our local town lesbian at the time, I decided to go underground once again.
If I was ever discovered tinkering with a car or bike, I would go glassy eyed and blurb some piffle like "I just wanted to see what it looked like inside. Oh no, I'm getting all dirty" and quickly skip off.
For a long time a thought i was a tom boy, but it's definately more than that, there's a strong element of man. But I actually now love that side of me.
The part that won't ask for directions, that throws the instructions away when putting a wardrobe together, that always ends up in the power tools section, that always remembers when Top Gear is on and drinks pints. I think I'll keep him.
Men have been told for a while that they should get in touch with their femininity, so I think it's time that we girls got in touch with our masculinity, maybe it'll help bridge the gap.
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