<*dv_0*>I was observing a picture of John Merrick, AKA the Elephant Man, AKA Notorious E.L.E.P.H.A.N.T recently, and it struck me that knackers does he look like an elephant. I mean really, he doesnt even look like some kind of fucked up kids drawing of an elephant, if you can imagine something so hideous. No, his name is ALL WRONG. I suppose you cant really blame the Victorians for naming Johnno after an elephant, the Victorians were basically crap (imagine if you will, a Victorian trying to play Metal Gear Solid 2 theyd just look like a spastic) and only had a tiny inkling of anything happening outside of their own world a bit like Americans today so to them his beastly ugliness possibly did look a BIT like an elephant. OK Im being charitable here, but come on, these people are my ancestors respect the family, dont dis your roots, man. So anyway, I was looking at this picture of Merro, and I came to the conclusion that no, he doesnt look like an elephant, this is a given, weve just gone through all that, but YES(!) he DOES look like hes made completely out of the crispy, savoury corn snack that is Golden Wonder Nik-Naks. SO with this in mind I would like to start a campaign to get this mans name changed to the name he deserves most. I want to start a campaign to get Michael Jackson, who owns the elephant man and taught him all the tricks he knew, even moonwalking, when they both lived in the circus, to change John Merricks real name from Elephant Man to Nik-Nak Man. This I shall do via the power of Baby Fat Heads readership (all seven of you). If you agree with the campaign and would like to add your voice, then please please please please please please mail in and let us know. Also appreciated would be interesting stories and anecdotes you may have, if you ever knew John Merrick, or possibly just threw things at him, or even if you saw the David Lynch film and was sick. Sender of the best mail will win a bag of Merricks limbs some Golden Wonder Nik-Naks. Please state the flavour you would like (and be realistic, dont write in and say stupid crap like bumble bee and handstand flavour please, weve all been students and its not big or clever. OK, it might be clever, cos youre a student. But its not big.)
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