BOLK!!
| | Internet Dating - Handy Crib Sheet for Men |
It's a bloody minefield, this Internet Dating lark. But fear not guys, for we at Baby Fat Head have compiled a print out and keep crib-sheet, so you'll never end up meeting that obsessive moose ever again. Girls, feel free to submit your own. |
What they say | What they mean |
I like cosy nights in | I'm a recluse |
I like to be wined and dined | No one has ever wined and dined me |
Average build | Fat |
Curvy | Fat |
Bubbly | Fat and blonde |
Busty | Massive saggy tits are all I have going for me |
That's me in the photo | That's not me in the photo |
'Career girl' | I work on reception |
'In the media' | I work on reception in a PR company |
<*dv_1*>I will not cyber | Oh go on then |
Just here to make friends | Just here to waste my time and yours |
I don't have a photo yet | I'm a man |
My scanner has broken | I'm eye-meltingly ugly/I'm a man |
Me 25 year old Oriental girl | I'm a man |
I have two beautiful children who are my world | <*dv_4*> So you've got your work cut out mate |
I'm attractive - so my friends tell me | My friends lie to/patronise me |
<*dv_2*>No one over 36, thanks | I once went out with one of my teachers and he went back to his wife |
Been there, done that | Been around the block a few times |
I'll try anything once | I'm desperate |
I'm Bisexual | I'm a man looking for porn |
Not looking for a one night stand | People keep using me for sex |
I'm a down to earth gal | I'm common |
I'm genuine, loyal and loving | I'm easily damaged |
I'm a real fun loving gal | I go home and cry myself to sleep |
I'm a fun-loving girl | I'll probably bore you rigid within 30 mins |
I like a cosy night in with a good bottle of wine | I don't have many friends and like to watch 'A Touch Of Frost', drinking myself into oblivion on Lambrini |
I like a cosy night in with a good bottle of wine | I'll do anything after downing a bottle - even up the arsehole |
Recently moved into the area | Desperate, I'll do anything - just talk to me!! PLEASE! |
Not really sure why I'm here | My friend told me I'd get a shag out of it and that's what I'm hoping for |
<*dv_0*>Don't really know what to put here | I have the imagination of a small rodent, possibly even less |
<*dv_3*>If you want to know more just ask | Yes, I actually think I'm that interesting! |
I go out pubbin and clubbin wiv me mates | That's me - the one stood in the road screeching at the top of my voice at 2am on a Sat night |
I'm mad/a nutter/bonkers/insane | I'm dull as dishwater and consider alcohol a special treat |
I'm a liberated girl | Don't introduce me to your mother |
I like older men | Don't introduce me to your father |
|
| |
| | |
