Customer Services
Marks & Spencer
47-67 Baker Street
London W1U 8EP
Dear Sir or Madam: I am writing to inform you of the flawed design of one of your products. <*dv_2*>I recently purchased a set of underwear- the trunks with keyhole fly - from one of your stores. Having used them for a few weeks I think I am qualified to say that the keyhole fly is almost impossible to use. I make no special claims about myself. I am a man of average dimensions. <*dv_0*>So I am somewhat perplexed as to why I should find myself in such difficulties whenever I need to relieve myself. Manipulating an opening requires both hands and the kind of dexterity normally associated with an origami master. The keyhole is made with a great deal of tightly stitched, overlapping fabric making it exceedingly difficult to not only get hold of my equipment, but to then weave it through the opening. Replacing said equipment after use is an equally difficult operation. <*dv_4*>The current design of the keyhole fly has led to several extremely embarrassing incidents in public toilets where I appeared, to all intents and purposes, to have been wrestling with my groin. The keyhole fly has been a standard way of allowing men to access their equipment for many years, so I would imagine that there would be no shortage of design experience to draw upon. Whoever designed this garment seems to have only a passing familiarity with the male anatomy. <*dv_1*>Did anyone test this aspect of the product prior to its manufacture? <*dv_3*>Whilst I have nothing but the highest praise for the comfort and support the garment provides I hope you can assure me that you will not be using this design in the future. Yours faithfully
The Jilted Barfly
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