When I was a kid, every year that passed I decided that I had grown up now, so much more mature than a just a year ago, I would be accepted amongst the adults now. I guess it started about my 10th birthday, and kept going until I was about 17. Then suddenly I realized that no, I was still a kid! On the verge of adulthood I found my inner child. Now I reveled in my immaturity, life was one big party. I'll grow up later. Who needs responsibility?
Who indeed? Well, it worked. I've had a ball. If I died now I couldn't have too many complaints. I've seen the world. OK, lets be honest, I've drunk the world. It was bloody good too. In my college days I hero worshiped Bluto Blutarski (Oh come on! Animal House!) and I think I've done him proud. I've left legends of debauchery everywhere I went. There's a whole rugby club in Guernsey who know me only as "Belushi" (and I didn't even prompt them!). But of course I'm getting old. The body can't take it so much any more. Oh, I'm still usually last man standing, I hate the idea that I might miss out on some fun. The trouble is, it takes me three days to recover now.
Of course all this isn't the issue. The real problem is that I've turned into Peter Pan. I'm nearly 40, I live in a bachelor flat in a trendy Manchester suburb. I'm still single (OK single again, but does a 2 year marriage really count?) and I'm not really sure that I even want a full time relationship (hope nobody on Love @ Lycos is reading this!). Will I ever stop feeling like a 17 year old?
<*dv_1*> The thing is, it's a bit like giving up smoking. There's no point in trying unless you really want to do it. You can't do "I think I ought to" or "it'd probably be good for me" - you've really got to want it. And I don't. I'm still having too much fun. I'm growing old disgracefully. I'm pissing away my money. I'm not putting down roots. I'm a social nomad.
What I can't figure out, the thing that's really taxing my nearly pickled grey matter is this - Does it really matter? I mean, it's not "Live Fast - Die Young" anymore is it, look at Keith Richards and I'm a monk by his standards! Well, there's only one thing for it.
Pint of Abbot please barman!
Fatbstard
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