<*dv_0*>So anyway, Im on the phone to my mate (male) and get to talking about porno. You know the stuff, reader's wives magazines, curling at the edges and stuffed under the mattress. Why is it, I ask, that Im just not into those huge, inflated breasts of American porno stars? I mean, theyre gorgeous right? Well, no actually, all those huge, gravity defying silicone titties and bald as a coot fannies, frankly it leaves me cold.
Now readers wives mags are totally different and Ill endevour to explain why. You know how sometimes, just for fun you get to picturing people naked? Oh come on, you know you do! Women at the bus stop, in shops, possibly even in changing roomserrm, or is that just me? Well anyway, readers wives is just like that! The prospect of coming across Auntie Pam, in her mismatched BHS knickers and Balconette bra, shoved under her huge droopy boobs, as she bites a lip seductively for the benefit of the camera man ( who is more than likely to be Uncle Derek.you know, with the limp and the Robin Reliant!) is just too titillating to pass up!
I can remember as a kid, sneaking into my parent's room and looking at my Dads dodgy porn mags, stashed unimaginatively, beneath the divan. Images of middle-aged housewives, flashing their arses on the hard shoulder of the A34 still make me squirm. I know, I know, its tacky but can you really think of anything more erotic than some domestic drudge, taking an afternoon out from soaking nappies and cooking chips and egg to pose, knickerless, in public? I cant!
I think a lot of the appeal is that you might just (if youre lucky) get a sublime moment of bumping into the subject of the photos, at the bus stop, or in Safeways. What could be more entertaining than looking Maria from Inverness straight in the eye, knowing full well youve seen her huge 70S retro bush and knowing that her fantasy is to do three dirty workmen and lick their jiz off her own tits!!! And if thats not enough, think how satisfying it would be to know, for certain, that your tits really are gravity defying!
Of course, the appeal of amateur porn has a lot to do with feeling better about yourself. I mean, lets face it, one glimpse of size 20, Katie from Romford, all rolling pasty thighs and spotty arse is guaranteed to perk your own self esteem, isnt it? On the other hand, even the skinny ones make you feel better. After all, youre clothed and ogling whilst theyre squatting on all fours naked, with a finger between over glossed lips and wearing plastic stilletoes, am I right?
Anyway, the point Im trying to make is that porn, home grown stuff at least, has a lot to offer women. So next time you find a dirty mag under your boyfriend/husband/male friends side of the bed, sit and take the time to have a good lookit might make you feel a whole lot better!
Submitted by Sarah Martin
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