<*dv_4*>Smoking is the root of all evil, apparently. Every single cigarette I light kills a child, or a waiter, or a fairy, or something. Hell, smoking is so satanically evil that the mere act of rolling a cigarette leads to one/all of the following:
Cancer
Child Abuse
Syphilis
The Plague
Autism
Leprosy
Global Warming
<*dv_3*> A new nuclear arms race
The reformation of the Soviet Union
Anti-Semitism
Global Terrorism
Myoptic Polythemic Nerve Damage
&
Bad breath
Even if you assume that only a handful of these potential consequences are true youd (probably) have to concede that smoking is evil, unless you yourself were completely without moral conscience, in which case you dont count, you hideous bubo on the rectal cavity of society you.
Anyway, smoking is bad, most of the world agrees on that much, asides from multi-national tobacco companies and they, like Nazis or Hippies, just arent entitled to an opinion, seeing as their so evil n all. So with the above revelations about the apocalypse threatening effects of smoking in mind its rather hard to argue against the forthcoming ban on smoking in public places. On a scale of intellectual validity arguing against a ban on smoking is in the same league as arguing that Pol Pot
<*dv_0*> was a misunderstood genius or that necrophilia is a valid lifestyle choice, there really is no way to win, unless you resort to such barbaric methods of debate as lighting a cigarette, blowing smoke in
<*dv_1*> your opponents face and waiting for them to die of cancer, hell, even then youll probably kick the bucket before they do, therefore losing the argument.
So what can a cancerous, cigarette loving, soul like myself do? How can I defend my addiction with even an ounce of credibility? Does it deny me my personal freedoms? Is this 1984-esque, totalitarian nanny state denying me the right to fill my lungs with lovely, lovely cancerous smoke? Well yes, I am being denied my personal freedoms, Tony Blair is (personally) taking away my right to choose whether or not to laboriously kill myself in a myriad of exceedingly painful, smoking related ways, the bastard that he is. Ysee, smoking, and I direct this bit largely at smokers, is indeed a bad thing, smoking hurts us and those around us, whether or not weve chosen to kill ourselves is irrelevant, whether or not those who suffer from passive smoking deserve to die or not is also irrelevant, smoking is just a bad thing, which, in the grand scheme of things, should probably be banned.
Our personal freedoms? Well shit, from the day were born we surrender hundreds of personal freedoms to the laws of the land, my right to inject heroin into my groin, my right to drown babies, my right to mug old ladies, my right to have romantic nights out in grave yards, all things that, although Id like to do from time to time, I largely accept that its probably not the best idea to actually do them. We dont need to smoke, its an addiction that we can quit, we really dont have any good argument to defend our cancerous habits, so lets not make tits of ourselves by trying eh?
<*dv_2*> Not, of course, that Im lecturing or anything. When this ban comes into action 3 years from now its not going to stop me from smoking, fortunately I am blessed with large measure of indifference towards the effects of my actions. I have few moral qualms about blowing smoke into the faces of babies and watching innocent, hard working bar staff contracting hideous diseases, so I shall continue to sit in my favourite pub, sipping delicately at my tipple of choice and chain smoking like an arsonist in a tire yard. What will I not do though? I wont whine incessantly about the unfairness of it all when someone asks me to put my cigarette out and I wont bitch about personal freedoms and the evils of the fascist state. I just wont fucking complain.
Smoking is bad, dont take it up if you cant ignore the moral side of it.
Piece submitted by YouSir
|
