Now, I'm all for porn although It doesn't do 'owt for me anymore. Got a porn overload when I was 15 because my friends dad dealt in hardcore videos so trips around his house were always educational, confusing ("what the hell is that?") and often deeply disturbing exports from Allemagne so throughout the years I have become totally blase about the depths of the human need to watch others humping that I need to watch things that totally challenge my sense of logic and belief.
One of my mates is the sort of person that always manages to find the absolutely worst sites on the internet and excitedly passes the names on! Now, I've never been tempted to watch a horse impregnate a woman (Again. Brrrr! Flashback!) so some of his suggestions fall on deaf ears EXCEPT this one!
http://www.tigerpumping.com (careful if you're at work)
When he was telling me about this site, I responded in a typical "yeah yeah' fashion but must admit I was intrigued by what he described. Of course, opening the site up I could see that this was indeed no lie!! Now, if you're not brave enough to have a look, I'll tell you the score. American men - not just gay males either - use those miracle inch adding penis pumps to swell their members and nuts to outlandish proportions then they take pictures! Theres a great one of the site owner, posing in a pair of Speedos that are reaching their testes containing breaking point! He looks really pleased with himself. In fairness, the bulge could be misconstrued as a hernia but it matters not because in the changing rooms he's the fucking king!
I've never seen anything like it. Half appalled but intrigued. Its like rubber necking a really bad car accident. You see the blood and shit and think "I must stop looking now" but you still do until you're confronted with a messed up corpse. Or in this case, a turgid 'piggy in a blanket'!
There appears to be a whole community - and it includes ladies as well!- of 'pumpers' who strive to have the perfect 'pump'. There're even categories of pumpness! Have you got a 'stogie' or a 'beer can'? Are you hanging 'low' and 'hard'? Is it a 'wet' pump or 'dry'?
You gotta hand it to bored and gay men for coming up with the most deviant pursuits possible to come to terms with their vagina abhorrence/shortage but in light of gerbil backdoor action, this pumping lark is quite tame. I always thought that penis lengthening pumps were just some tarted up wank device but reading the detailed instructions on the site (and they do have a safety first policy!) you can see that it is anything but a cheap gimmick.
In fact, the more seasoned pumper has industrial vacuum equipment and even custom made receptacles to really get some girth on the go! Something akin to the christmas Quality Street jar except with a ginormous set of testicles in it and not everybody's favourite 'Purple nutty one' and the coffee ones nobody eats!
So what's the point? From what I can see the point is to look really huge in a flaccid state and positively monolithic when you have got a throb on! What more do you want to know??
Its good if you have self confidence and body issues I suppose. I personally haven't and no, I'm not hung like Shergar either! But an ex-girlfriend once went out with a lad who was 3/4's of an inch erect, so upon hearing that tale I felt like I possessed a behemoth and never had any twinklings of doubt ever since!
Also, it appears the pumped fireman can actually be used in battle! With the aid of rubber bands and suchlike! So now you know the secret of those ridiculously blessed porn stars! Some of the piccies are a little distasteful because quite frankly I have no desire to view some German homosexual's atrophied sphincter muscle but for the greater part, its just a man and his pump. And the adventures they have!
I mentioned ladies do it too and the effects on them are just frightening! Look for yourself! I can't even begin to describe it although it looks like something that would not be out of place in Patpong, Thailand! Accompanied by a prominent adams apple!
<*dv_0*> But do you know what the scariest thing is though. ladies & gents? You'll view the pictures and read the articles and you may actually entertain the idea of trying it for yourself.
And don't say you wouldn't want to. Its like saying you have never had a wank or taken naughty pictures of yourself with your brand new webcam to 'test' it!
Excuse me for a mo.
"Mom!. Have we still got that Quality Street jar from christmas in the house?".....
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