Cash: enticing | | <*dv_1*>If In Doubt, Sue! | Very soon going to court to sue someone will be a pastime for most people. Its been well documented in recent years just how popular suing others has become, but there are still some people that havent jumped on the bandwagon yet. A smart person nowadays could make a substantial living from doing nothing else except finding loopholes and discrepancies in the legal system and suing people based on this. My question is; why arent we all doing this now instead of going to work?
<*dv_0*> Most of us poor saps are stupid enough to try and make an honest living with a regular job. All we get in return is stress and a minimal wage, which is then devoured by taxes and other costs that are high just because we live in Britain. To paraphrase Chris Rock in the movie Head Of State, we go to work each week just to make enough money to be broke. But it doesnt have to be this way!
The concept of suing everyone and everything started in America, but thanks to Tony Blairs Be Like America At Any Cost initiative, the idea has now spread this side of the Atlantic. Its really quite ingenious when you think about it.
The system was set up to allow normal people the chance to claim compensation if they had been wronged. Nowadays, you can sue someone else for your own stupidity. How great is that?
Weve all heard about the fat people that have sued fast-food establishments for causing their obesity, but just recently Ive come across more examples of how this system can work to our advantage.
One of my favourites was the guy I heard about who had purchased a vehicle from an American car dealership. The salesman was preaching about the benefits of choosing the vehicle, such as cruise control. For those of you not familiar with cruise control, it is a feature on vehicles that allows them to automatically maintain your desired speed, giving you the chance to take your foot off of the pedal and give your foot a rest. It drives itself the salesman advised whilst talking about cruise control.
So as youve probably guessed by now, the guy gets into his new vehicle, reaches the speed of 55 MPH and switches on cruise control. Then, he takes his foot off of the pedal, unbuckles his seatbelt and climbs into the backseat to take a rest as the car speeds along at 55 miles per hour. The car came off of the road at the very first bend it came to. Therefore, the disgruntled customer takes it upon himself to sue the salesman because of this. He won the case too.
Another thing I came across involved the late rapper, Tupac Shakur. I happen to be a big fan of Tupac, and I was reading about various lawsuits that he had been involved in. Numerous people have come out of the woodworks to sue Tupac now that hes dead. Among these people was Tupacs biological father, William Garland, who wanted to claim half of Tupacs multi-million dollar estate.
Tupacs natural father had disappeared long before Tupac was born, and only came into his life during Tupacs last few years, after he had become famous. Even then, Mr Garland played a very small role in Tupacs life. Nonetheless, being one of Tupacs biological parents, Garland thought that this entitled him to half of Tupacs money. While William Garland didnt win the case, he was given a settlement in excess of $500,000. Half a million for neglecting a son for close to twenty-five years not bad at all!
And now its easier to sue than ever. In fact, you might as well quit your job right now and stay at home; because if you switch on your TV in the daytime you will be inundated with advertisements for personal claims companies. If youve as much as sustained a paper cut at work, you can claim for compensation and sue your former company.
Similarly, if youve been fired from a job, you can sue for unfair dismissal. So what if you were caught stealing from the office, or embezzling the companys funds? Get a lawyer on the phone and Im sure theyll find a way to turn it all around for you. With any luck, in a few weeks time youll be back at the company as its new owner!
<*dv_2*> As long as you can fake a neck injury and think of a way to explain that jumping out of a three-storey building, several times, wasnt your fault, youre likely to make a fortune. So gentlemen, (and ladies for that matter dont want to get sued for being sexist!) start your suing!
Lee
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