Are inept at being homeless! Its true.
<*dv_1*> Ok, now if I'm walking about and a homeless person asks me for some cash, then if I have got it, I give it. No big deal. I don't really care what they do with it because at the end of the day I'm going back to my warm house, full fridge and snuggly duvet. I'm not in fear of being murdered whilst I sleep in suburbia by a gang of lagered up fuckwits on their way home from a club.
So here's my niggle - and it pertains to those who have chosen to live on the streets. Its not going to be a socio-political argument about the governments treatment, or lack of, to them or the general state of the world! Nay! Its about how disorganised at surviving some of these people are!
Now if my world suddenly came crashing about my ears and I was left destitute & without a friend, I KNOW I could survive comfortably in the urban jungle. I've done so many excursions to cold, wet places in a bid to walk up and down (because I can) mountains & hills that I know my tolerance and spirit for rougher times. I know from my own engineering and extensive DIY background that I could quite easily construct tools, tap into electricity supplies Brazil style, construct ingenious rain water collecting run offs. I have read, cover to cover, so many SAS survival books that I could knock up a bivvy or shelter in under an hour. I've watched every bleeding episode of Ray Mears survival guide so I know that if by some bizarre turn of events I end up in the Australian outback, I could get water using a piece of plastic and work out my position from the stars using Navajo techniques. Ignoring my flippancy for a moment, I can nonetheless 'walk the talk' if needs be.
<*dv_5*> And I daresay, my intelligence is such that I could deviously play act and appeal to peoples arrogant sense of nobility (the same emotion I fulfil for myself when I hand over cash) and procure the odd McDonalds/bag of chips without having to resort to bin diving. I saw a great example of this when I was sitting having some lunch in the grounds of St Paul's Cathedral, Birmingham. I watched this homeless bloke shuffle pathetically towards everyone sitting on the grass and ask them for spare change. Some gave, some refused. Anyway, he gets round to me and I got to look at him closely. He had the 'half shut eyes' look accompanied by a 'I've slept in the cold and may be developing pneumonia' rattly lungs, the posture of a wretched creature and a really feeble voice. I said no of course and carried on eating my Tuna Nicoise baguette. He fucked off onto the next person..
When I had finished and was making my way to the bus stop, who should I see dancing about merrily with the appearance of a very happy chappy and shouting "Big Issue! New edition folks! Get them while they're hot" "Sir? No? Have a good evening!". It was the park shuffler. Gone was the lolling gait. Gone was the wheeze.
I thought to myself, you crafty bastard! What annoyed me was that he was making those who were genuinely 'down and out' appear like blagards. Then I thought to myself, no! Its exactly what I would do in that position. He was playing the system to survive. Not just plonking himself next to a cash point with a Burger king cup and hoping for the best. He was totally proactive in keeping himself alive and I respect that.
<*dv_6*> The most basic human needs are food, shelter, water and warmth. Now, I know I could make shelter. A cardboard box palace even. I know I would hunt for polystyrene to line said shelter because of its heat insulating properties. In this wasteful society, these items are not hard to find. Hygiene and water. Well, there are plenty of public toilets around. I'd quite happily give myself a daily strip wash in the gents if it meant not attracting body lice and skin problems. The water is perfectly safe to drink from the sinks. Clothing could be procured from those recycling bin things. People dump bags of it rather than put it into the bin. I'd even lift the bags of clothes people dump outside Barnado's/Oxfam etc - Morals are not at issue here, just survival. Food we have discussed. Either asking for food rather than spare change (this would be more realistically given from people on their way for the nights kebab) or camping outside restaurants and asking for it. Going through the bins of Supermarkets (not all of them lock theirs). Letting supermarket staff - mainly older ones - take pity and put some perfectly edible spoilage aside for you. And this is all aside from the many Shelters and soup kitchens. I did a stint at St Basils shelter one Christmas Eve and know the help that is available if you are willing to use it.
<*dv_0*> Then we come to the moral booster. Warmth. Now, call me a patronising wanker but instead of necking multiple cans of Tennants Super or jacking yourself up to the eyeballs with heroin, surely it would be simpler, and more effective, to build a fire to keep out the cold? Sitting on your arse, all day long, on cold concrete wouldn't help retain heat either. Movement equals circulation and therefore body warmth
<*dv_4*> Is it totally unreasonable to presume that in order to gain warmth after the hours the Public Library has closed - This would be my daily port of call. You'd have warmth, quiet and a chance to learn about even more avenues of survival you could exploit - that a fire, something that our Neolithic ancestors made a real effort to discover, is totally beyond anybody's ability to create? Lets see what we need... Erm, combustible material and a source of flame. Not too difficult to get now is it? I believe 'smack' doesn't cook itself & Off licenses sell matches last time I checked.
So there you have it. That's my opinion. The above would be construed as pedantic and totally arrogant to the ears of people that would rather have have their caring conscience soothed when they have a copy of the Big Issue in their khaftan pocket than make any helpful observations. But I think none of the above is implausible and beyond anybody's grasp.
In fact, I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is. Given the current fashion of 'reality TV', I would be totally up to prove my theory for the television viewing nation and give up my cushy little Accountant lifestyle for a while.
<*dv_3*> Obviously, not to the extents of that stupid telly journalist who thought he would become a heroin addict for an experiment and consequently his life went to total shit but I'm sure I could do more than just accept a bad situation and suffer the consequences without resistance.
<*dv_2*> As so many do.
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