<*dv_0*>This year I sat once again in front of my TV and spat 'Comic Relief?! Don't make me laugh!' and it didn't do just that. Ha! take that Mr. Henrys (Yes, Henrys, like Tony Blairs and Robbie William)
Charity Mayhem... who's the target? bring these people to me and okay I'll be fair and release the under 12's and over 65's, but leave me the others, I invite them to take part in my experiment.
What experiment Kate? Well, it goes something like this... I shall sit these folk down and play them some footage from a 94 Harry Enfield video (Kevin the Teenager of course!) maybe some Jasper Carrott, and of course who can forget Mr. Henrys' finest 'Chef' (s-s-s-serious profession). Whilst my subjects are wiping away their tears with balled fists, and nursing their tender sides from the hoo-hooing and mirth of it all, I shall proceed to fire up a PowerPoint slideshow of stock Africans sans limbs, and maybe a clip of everyone's favourite hairy walking contradiction Billy Connollys treading the wards of a shack cum hospital, patronising the blind. (Filmed 4yrs ago of course, if its good enough for Mr. Henrys!)
By George you're a mean one Kate, I hear you cry, but fret not! I shall trivialise the whole affair by teasing my audience with promise of footage of the cast of 'Barbara' performing a spoofed up to the max show tune! coming soon folks, coming soon!
Throughout the evening o' fun, I shall employ some local street rats (and trust me, my locals are rats) to pocket-picket my viewers. What?! that's not wrong! my audience are caring sharing charity adoring machines, and I'll hear nothing said that they don't donate without the prompt of the Birds of a Feather gerls singing a tongue in cheek rendition of 'It's Raining Men' (Oh Lesley Josephs, you're such a tart! ooh er!)
So everyone's happy! My celebs (loose) once went to Africa way back when (the clips may be in cinefilm, ill have to double check...) and we have it all on tape, some are even doing their daily jobs for free, bless em, and my meek and needy are being trivialised in the name of wacky wacky fun.
So there you have it, Comic Relief in X amount of words (anyone care to check?) and not one mention of Rowan Atkinson!
Damn...
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