It was cold it was wet. I had a couple of hours to kill. On a whim I went down to the local enormoplex. Didn't check the times. Big mistake. Confronted with a nightmare scenario. Endure 2 hours of Disney schmaltz or a futuristic thriller starring Ben Affleck. The equivalent to being asked whether you would like broken glass or rusty nails in your baguette. Neither particularly appetizing.
However some say that if you go and see a film with no expectations whatsoever you are often pleasantly surprised. Lets just say I wasn't surprised, pleasantly or otherwise.
The premise for this film is actually quite good. Based on a short story by Philip K. Dick ( the brains behind Minority Report, Total Recall and Blade Runner) it involves Michael Jennings (Affleck) an unscrupulous "reverse engineer", someone who basically nicks existing technology, tweaks it in such a way to create something new whilst doing enough to avoid pesky patenting problems. His bosses are equally untrustworthy as they insist that Jennings has his memory erased after every job so he can't sell his ideas to the highest bidder (why he doesn't sign a non-disclosure contract is beyond me but this IS the future people). Jennings is just after the aforementioned paycheck and is not bothered amount the missing months as his memory is comprised of life highlights (kind of like a video that skips the comercials and gets to Father Ted)
The good news is that he is offered the deal of a lifetime. A job that would set him up for life. He just has to sacrifice 3 years to a faceless (read evil) corporation on a mysterious project and wake up a very rich man. Bad news is that he wakes up and all he finds are people lining up to shoot him and all he has to explain the hoo-ha is an envelope, posted by a himself before his memory was wiped, with 19 knick-knacks normally found behind the sofa, a paper clip, a coin, a bus pass ect ect...with which he must piece his tattered life together.
After a promising start the countless fascinating possibilities are eschewed for uninspiring car chases and lame martial arts. I found suspending my belief increasingly difficult the more this film went on. Affleck and his buddy Shorty (Paul Giammati) are a scientist and a computer geek for god sake, yet they take out a whole bunch of crack FBI agents in scenes which verge on the slapstick.
You have to blame overrated director John Woo who instead of creating tension, humour or suspense in Affleck's attempts to make sense of it all, decides to blow his wad on explosions, gun battles, and chase scenes. Memo to Mr Woo: slow motion is stylised without being stylish and is frankly a lazy way to approach this kind of film. His principal is to throw enough pyrotechnics at a film and expect the smoke to obscure the view of the hash he has made of the concept.
Oh, and no-one wants to see any more fucking car chases, be they with a side helping of bombs, motorbikes or helicopters. 99.9% are pointless and crap and should only appear ironically in episodes of the A-Team.
Affleck is a rather blank canvas, as if he had his acting ability wiped away like his character's memory, and is tolerable at best. There is precious little chemistry between him and Uma Thurman who does tried hard as Rachel Porter, the forgotten love interest, and manages to conjure a few tears probably at why she agreed to appear in this film and ruin her good resume. There are numerous plot holes (based on the project he worked and which I could mention, but why ruin such a good film), a muddled last third and a predictably schmaltzy ending.
<*dv_0*> I think I'll see Peter Pan next time.
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