<*dv_1*>I'm trying desperately to remember the last decent remake I watched. The Italian Job, Thomas Crown Affair, Psycho, Texas Chain Saw Massacre, The Ladykillers. All desperately tedious retreads which make you wonder....why bother?
<*dv_2*> This weeks example of Hollywood attempting to bleed the life out of a successful franchise sees Naomi Watts puff her way through this risible remake of the Japanese sequel to the genuinely scary Ringu.
For Ring virgins the premise of the first film surrounds a video which if watched, would condemn the viewer to an untimely death within one week unless that person roped in another poor sap to watch the film in order to pass on the curse. Rather like a suicidal chain of Blockbusters if you will. The cursed would get a phone call after a week to let them know their time was up and they would get such a nasty shock they would keel over and die with gruesome expressions fixed on their face. Jackie Stallone's surgeon probably watched this film the night before the op (seriously).
Unlike the Japanese sequel it doesn't start at the end of the first film in any discernible way. Without any explanation we see that the curse has followed Ms Watts all the way to Oregon when the tape appears and wreaks its usual havoc. Even when she gets hold of the tape and burns it the deaths continue. The plot dispenses with any genuine scares or plot development that came with the original instead plumping for a lame retread of "The Exorcist" when the video's star, a pallid lank haired youth in a nightgown (no relation to Avril Lavigne) attempts to possess Naomi son. This rule change is given no explanation probably because the writer didn't have one. As this is Hollywood we get some CGI filler to paste up the sizeable plot cracks. The highlight is an enjoyable but completely bizarre scene when a bunch of killer deer (yes deer, dear) attempt to smash up the car containing the unfortunate twosome. The scene is more "Animals Do The Funniest Things" rather then "American Werewolf in London" and is reaffirmed by guffaws from my fellow cinema goers.
Lump in hoary old cliches like scary basements, musical boxes and creepy children and you really have all the bases covered.
Ringpiece. Avoid.
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