<*dv_0*>In some parallel world looking remarkably like late 80s Earth, Patrick Swayze plays superstar nightclub bouncer and philosophy graduate, Dalton. He is recruited to clean up some small town dive that the new owner has big plans for. However, the town is run by local big shot businessman Brad Wesley, (Ben Gazzara), who doesnt like the idea of somebody trying to muscle in on his empire. This piss poor premise serves to bring Swayze and Gazzara into conflict and provides the excuse for the numerous bar room brawls that follow.
<*dv_2*> The mulleted Swayze waltzes round in the height of late 80s style dressed in t-shirt, suit jacket and jeans. Surreally, this look is currently de-rigueur for every Shoreditch and Hoxton twat propping up the bars in Brick Lane. Patrick Swayze as style icon. Truly we live in interesting times.
The film contains a number of gratuitous cleavage shots, a completely cynical close up of Swayzes naked arse and the pointless use a monster truck. No taste is left uncatered for. 80s cinema seemed to specialise in this kind of glossy crap. Take ridiculous premise, add star name, high production values and pop song studded soundtrack and hey presto youve produced a film which critics hate but earns a fortune.
Road House is a companion piece to that other piece of 80s schlock, the Tom Cruise vehicle, Cocktail. Roughly, barman are swapped for bouncers and both films have older world weary mentor figures who dispense wisdom then die. In Cocktail it is Bryan Brown, in Road House we have the grizzled charm of Sam Elliot.
With a week of stubble, greying mane and Texan drawl Elliot seems to fallen through the time tunnel straight from the OK Corral. Slouching through the film like some sun dazed cow poke, youre disappointed he doesnt finish each sentence by spitting tobacco onto the toe of someones boot. Without doubt Elliot is the highlight of the film.
As the worlds only philosophy degree owning bouncer Swayze gets to dispense such sobriquets of wisdom as Nobody ever wins a fight. Together with bouts of naked tai chi this is no doubt meant to imply that he is really in touch with his karmic inner self, or, well, something like that. In case Swayze might seem like some new age museli chomping wimp, the script writers give Dalton a past he can get dark and moody about thus becoming irresistibly attractive to women.
<*dv_1*> This past involves killing a man by ripping his throat out. From the minute this detail is introduced to the plot you know it is going to be demonstrated in graphic detail at some point. It is.
Sadly the film has to end and does so with the inevitable showdown between Swayze and Gazzara. However in a surprising twist the hitherto passive townsfolk suddenly turn vigilante and gun down Gazzara. This transformation to blood lusting mob murderers means the film ends on a rather odd and uncomfortable note.
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